This is an email I sent to my friend Cleo Manning who was a high school English teacher for about 10 minutes until she realized the only thing worse than today’s youth, are their parents. (She sells houses now.)

To: Cleo@ParentsSuck.com
From: She-Ra@IRule.com
Subject: To whore or not to whore, that is the question…

Ms. Manning, Ms. Manning, I have a question!!!

Will you grade my paper?

Meaning, will you look over what I’ve written on my blog so far and tell me when I sound like like grew up in Appalachia? Seriously, I know I shouldn’t worry about it too much because it’s a blog and all, but I haven’t written an English paper since 1997, and could use some technical brushing up. And while my husband is a brilliant man, we disagree a lot on this stuff and need someone of authority to set us straight (and keep us from taking it out on each other with Wii boxing).

As payment for your services (and considering the all the moaning that went on the last time you visited him), I’m thinking you’ll readily whore yourself out for unlimited access to Julio The Massage Chair.

So let me know if this sounds like a reasonable trade. I understand if you’re too busy lately, or find my mindless ramblings too reminisent of your days teaching today’s IQ challenged high school youths.

All the world’s a stage,

She-Ra

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