I don’t think I’d ever had split pea soup until this recipe. Probably something to do with the cultural stigma surrounding the Poltergeist movie.

When I made this, Husband said it was the best soup I’ve ever made. Which is something special considering I make A LOT of soups – scratch that – I make A LOT OF GOOD soups. So this has become a staple around here. I even froze a bunch into 2 cup servings.

I can’t take much credit for the recipe though. I pretty much copied it word for word except for a minor tweak. Here’s the original.

Healthy - This tastes so good you’ll want more then one bowl but you’ll be so full after one bowl that you’ll fight it. One serving (2 cups) has about 500 calories and around 20 grams of fiber; not to mention lots of protein. See stats here.

Cheap - Soups are almost always economical and this is no exception. The chorizo goes a long way. And the peas are super cheap.

Easy - This is another one where you throw it all in and walk away. It can be done in a slow cooker, but since I don’t have one, I do it on the stove in a dutch oven on low.

Don’t be scared of lentils. I had rarely eaten and never cooked them until this recipe. And what a waste. All those years without lentils! It’s like cooking with dried beans but with none of the waiting and hassle. You get all the nutrition and budget friendliness without the soaking and rinsing and planning ahead.

I’ve made this recipe countless times. It’s even good enough to serve to guests.

Healthy - Okay, folks. Hold onto your hats because this is one is a nutritional powerhouse. About 380 calories. Good fats. And more than 12 grams of fiber! Not to mention it’s high protein and low carb if that’s what you’re into. Needless to say, you will not be hungry after a bowl full of this stuff! And it tastes GOOD! I made it again this week and it still gets an “Ummmm” from Husband. See stats here.

Cheap - A whole recipe probably costs less than $4. And that’s about 3 main course servings.

Easy - About 15 minutes of prep and 30 minutes of cooking, and you only have to chop up two or three things.

Serves 3 main courses.

I’m not a big fan of cumin (it kind of smells like stinky feet to me) but despite my aversion to any and all things feet related, I love this recipe. I’ve made it several times, using a variety of proteins (ham, brisket, pork loin), and it’s always great. It would be good for a party because the colors are beautiful and it keeps well.

Healthy - At less than 500 calories a serving and 9 grams of fiber, it’s really filling, and it has a ton of flavor! It calls for cheese but I’ve also substituted avocado to change it to a good fat; I’ve also left it out altogether and it didn’t make a big difference. Here are the stats from the last time I made it using mayo.

Cheap - The protein in this dish is versatile so use whatever’s on sale or whatever’s in your freezer or fridge. And the vegetables it calls for are inexpensive, especially if corn is in season like it is now.

Easy - No need to cook, it’s mostly chop and mix. Just use leftover protein from last night’s dinner. The most labor intensive part of this is keeping an eye on the corn while chopping up everything else. Listen to the corn, once it pops, it’s time to turn it.

I got the recipe from Robin Miller on foodnetwork.com and I’ve made some tweaks. The original is here.

The roasted corn really makes this recipe, don’t skip this step, the work to flavor ratio is worth it. The Granny Smith apple might sound weird but it’s really good and adds a nice crunch, trust me. And try to chop everything uniformly and on the small side so you you get a little of everything in each bite.

Ingredients

• Cooking spray
• 2 ears fresh or frozen cob corn, thawed
• about a pound of cooked protein such as chicken, pork loin, etc. – whatever you have on hand
• 1 (15-ounce) can pinto beans (or whatever you have on hand, I’ve also used kidney beans), drained
• 1 cup shredded cheese, OR one diced avocado, OR 4 tablespoons mayonnaise, OR leave it out if you’re really watching calories
• 1/2 cup Spanish olives, sliced
• 1/2 cup tomatoes, diced
• 1 Granny Smith apple, cored and diced
• 1/4 cup pickled jalapenos, diced
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves (optional)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/4 cup cider vinegar

Directions

Heat a dry pan over medium high heat. Add the ground cumin and toast until you see little whisps of smoke or until it’s very fragrant, stirring occasionally. Put the olive oil in a dish and incorporate the toasted cumin. Wipe down the pan and add cooking spray. Place corn on the pan and cook until golden brown or charred on all sides, turning frequently  (if you hear a popping sound, it’s ready to turn). While the corn is cooking chop everything else but keep an eye on it. Remove the corn from heat and cool. When cool enough to handle, slice kernels from cob.

Transfer kernels to a large bowl and add chicken, beans, cheese, olives, tomatoes, apple, jalapenos, and cilantro. Toss to combine.

Take the olive oil and cumin mixture and whisk in vinegar. Add dressing to chicken mixture and toss to coat. Season to taste with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Let sit for 10 minutes before serving  (if you can wait that long). The flavors are even better the next day.

Enjoy!

On a recent road trip to a friend’s ranch we stopped at Cracker Barrel for dinner. And even though I grew up on Cracker Barrel’s lip smacking southern food, I’d never had their turnip greens before. In fact, I’d never had any southern greens that I really liked. The only reason I ordered them was because I knew I was in for a calorie laden weekend and I was trying to keep this meal low so that I could drink my calories later (in the form of what tasted like moon shine jello shots). So you can imagine my surprise at having to restrain myself from moaning and licking the bowl in a crowded restaurant of bible thumping country folk who don’t take kindly to displays of animal wantonness.

When we got in the car, the first thing I did was Google the recipe. I didn’t find it, but I did find this one and I pretty much followed it to the letter so I can’t claim any originality.

It’s an Emeril recipe, and normally his recipes are good but don’t qualify as easy because they usually have a billion ingredients listed, but this one wasn’t too bad. And although it takes two hours, most of that is braising time.

We ate it as a main course with a side of healthy corn bread to sop up the liquor (what they call the liquid you get when everything cooks down). We were in southern food heaven! And it was better than Cracker Barrel because I didn’t have Jethro and his big-boned, big-haired mama eyeballing my moaning and slurping.

Healthy - You always hear you should eat dark leafy greens, but I don’t come across many recipes that incorporate them. So this is a real find. Each main course serving (about 2.5 cups worth) is less than 350 calories and has 10 grams of fiber! See stats here. And yes we’re talking about bacon and all it’s saturated fat goodness, but a little goes along way here.

Cheap - I halved the recipe and the entire pot cost about $5! And that’s with buying the really nice applewood smoked bacon from Central Market.

Easy - The hardest part about this recipe is washing the greens, see the tips section at the bottom for advice and don’t be scared, it’s not as bad as it sounds.

Makes about 6 main course servings or 12 side course servings.

Ingredients

• 3/4 pound sliced bacon (splurge on the good thick stuff since you’re not using much)
• 3 cups sliced onions (half moon slices about 1/4 inch thick)
• 8 cloves garlic, mashed and quartered
• 3 teaspoons salt
• 3/4 teaspoon cayenne
• 3/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 quart water
• 1 (12-ounce) can beer
• 1/4 cup distilled white vinegar
• 2 tablespoons molasses or cane syrup
• 5 pounds fresh greens, such as mustard greens, collard greens, turnip greens, or kale, rinsed well, picked over and tough stems removed (I’ve only used turnip greens)

Directions

In the largest, heaviest pot you own, cook the bacon until it has rendered most of its fat, about 5 to 6 minutes. Add the onions, garlic, salt, cayenne, and black pepper and cook until the onions are wilted, about 4 minutes. Add 1 quart of water, the beer, vinegar, and molasses and bring to a boil. Begin adding the greens in batches, pressing down with a wooden spoon to submerge them in the hot liquid and adding more as they wilt. When all of the greens have been added, reduce the heat to a simmer and cook the greens, partially covered and stirring occasionally, for about 1 to 1 1/2 hours or until tender.

Enjoy!

Tips

Prepping the greens

• The goal is to loosen the dirt from the leaves and have it sink to the bottom.
• Clean your sink very well.
• Remove the stem from the leaf by folding it in half along the stem and place it on the counter, place your hand flat along the leaf part close to the stem, and rip the stem away.
• Put the leaves in the sink and fill the sink with water. Don’t overfill the sink with leaves. Make sure there aren’t any leaves touching the bottom of the sink because the dirt will settle onto them.
• Slosh everything around a little and then don’t touch it for five or ten minutes while the dirt settles to the bottom.
• Carefully remove the leaves without stirring up the dirt too much, place them on paper towels, and then drain the water.
• If you do the whole recipe you’ll probably have at least three sink fulls of leaves.
• When you look at the gigantic pile of leaves vs. the size of your pot you think it’s never going to fit, but they cook down a lot.
• Grab a handful of leaves and tear it into thirds as you add it to the pot.

I’ve chosen this as my first recipe post because it fully embodies all three elements of my holy trinity – Healthy, Cheap, and Easy.

Healthy – It depends on what kind of meat you use but when using chicken it’s under 500 calories a serving! And it’s base is a fiber rich vegetable. See the stats here.

Cheap - It’s really cheap since it can utilize left overs and the main ingredient is cabbage; you can often find the pre-made bags of coleslaw mix on sale. I bought one last week for $1.

Easy – What’s great about this is that you just cook extra meat for whatever you’re cooking the night before, or use whatever you have left over in the fridge. The first time I made it I used left over brisket, the next time was left over ham. In fact, I’ve never made it with chicken.

I got the recipe from Ellie Krieger on foodnetwork.com and made some very minor tweaks; here’s the original.

What makes this salad is the dressing. Yes, you could use a store bought dressing and it would be okay, but nothing compares to the flavor of fresh ginger and garlic!

Ingredients

• 4 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce, divided
• 2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil, divided
• 1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breasts or whatever protein you have on hand
• 1 bag of pre-made cole slaw veggies (green cabbage, red cabbage, carrots)
• 3 scallions, trimmed and thinly sliced, greens included (about 1/2 cup)
• 1 (8-ounce) can whole water chestnuts, chopped up
• 1 (11-ounce) can Mandarin oranges in water, drained
• 1/3 cup rice wine vinegar
• 1 teaspoon grated garlic
• 1 teaspoon minced ginger
• 2 tablespoons canola oil or olive oil
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons chili-garlic sauce or chili sauce, such as Rooster Sauce
• 1/4 cup sliced almonds, toasted (optional)

1. If using leftover meat, skip to step three.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Combine 1 tablespoon soy sauce and 1/2 teaspoon sesame oil and brush onto chicken breasts. Arrange in a baking dish and bake until juices run clear, about 13 to15 minutes. Remove from oven, cool completely, and cut into 1/4-inch slices.
3. In a large bowl, combine cole slaw mix, scallions, water chestnuts, Mandarin orange and sliced chicken. In a separate bowl, whisk together 3 tablespoons soy sauce, vinegar, garlic, ginger, oil, 1 1/2 teaspoons sesame oil, brown sugar and chili sauce. Pour dressing over salad and toss to combine. Divide among bowls and top each serving with 2 teaspoons toasted almonds.

Tips

• Keep peeled ginger root in the freezer. It keeps forever and it’s easier to grate than fresh ginger.
• For best results pour sauce on about 10 minutes before serving. This gives it a little time to marinate but not get soggy. Not that it gets super soggy, it still tastes good the next day, just not a great as the night of.

If anyone is still out there,

It’s been forever since I posted and honestly I didn’t think I would ever post again. I realized that I couldn’t keep up with a blog like this because I’m just not an exhibitionist like regular bloggers need to be. I was fun for a while and gave me something to do when I first quit my job, but  frankly I don’t get any kind of thrill out of putting my life and thoughts on display like regular bloggers do. It’s just not “me”.

For those curious about what my time has been like and what I’m doing now. Here’s the short version.

The past year has been amazing. I LOVED IT! I LOVED IT! I LOVED IT! But it’s technically over and I’m half heartedly looking to join the work force again. What did I do with my time? Well, let’s see:

• lost 25lbs! (insert riotous trumpet sound)
• read a shit load of books (see new “Books” section at top of page)
• cooked almost every meal from scratch (the only reason I’m posting again)
• reluctantly did a little traveling (I know it’s not popular to say this, but I hate traveling)
• watched too much TV (most of it stinks, some of it rocks)
• learned how to live  on a very tight budget (yes, ME!, on a budget!)
• caught baby fever (sooooooo weird!)

I realize a few of those might need a little further elaboration.

Lost 25lbs -

The first thing people excitedly ask is “How!?!” and then they get bitterly disappointed when I don’t reveal some super secret new diet wonder. The truth is what I did was really simple, but really hard, and took a long time.

The secret to my success – I burned more calories than I ate! (Ta-Da!)

Sorry to let you down, but I didn’t drink or eat anything special. I didn’t cut out carbs, or fat, or take any miracle pills. It was all very boring, slow and uneventful. Although I did use two tools that made a big difference to me.

First, I started tracking how many calories I shove in my face, and to do this I tried all the online websites and by far my favorite is dailyburn.com. I’ve used it for over a year and it’s the fastest, most simple, and has a big database. Now that I’m good at it, it takes me about 5-10 minutes a day to input my food. Sometimes I enter food as I eat it, but a lot of time I just enter all of it after dinner to see if I have enough calories left over for desert. If you try it, my user name is Schmitty; friend me.

Second, I got a bodybugg. A bodybugg is a little device you strap to your upper arm and it measures how many calories you’re burning based on movement, sweat, and temperature (and yes, it totally screws up the line of your outfit!). It’s the other side to the boring but all important equation for losing weight. What’s great about it, especially for incredibly lazy people who despise working out like Me, is that you’d be amazed at how many calories you burn by doing everyday things like cleaning the house or shopping. So if I just could not stand the thought of the gym that day then I would move my body enough if other ways to compensate (FYI, lifting the remote doesn’t burn as many calories as you hope). It kept me sane, because I wouldn’t feel so much guilt over not working out. And then at the end of the day I would make sure that I burned at least 500 more calories than I ate because 500 times 7 is 3500 and there are 3500 calories in a pound. Ergo, I lost about a pound a week. It worked for me because I like measuring and quantifying things and knowing exactly where I stand. Also, I didn’t want to do any more exercise than I absolutely had to!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I worked out. A LOT. I was in the gym about every other day and I was usually there for about an hour and a half (yes, 90 freaking minutes!) or until I burned 500 calories, whichever came first. I did mostly cardio, because that’s what burns the most calories the fastest, but I also did weight training so that I’d have more muscles to burn more calories. And once I got to my goal weight I did pilates because that’s the best at shaping my body and putting whatever curves I had left in the right places.

Once I got to the point where I barely had any pants that wouldn’t fall down, I knew it was time to put on the brakes. I got where I wanted and I didn’t want to buy a whole new wardrobe. Therefor, I lost all motivation to work out! And I’ve kept my weight steady for the last four or five months.

I don’t think I could have lost the weight in such a healthy way if it weren’t for the whole not working thing. An hour and half in the gym! Come on! I can’t do that AND work 8 hours a day. That’s ridiculous. I’d rather be fat.

But hopefully I won’t be faced with that prospect in the future. Fingers crossed!

Also, I have a lot more to say on this subject, this is a very condensed version of how I lost it; if you want to know more, just leave a comment about what you want to know I’ll elaborate by either posting another entry or emailing you.

Wow, this blog entry is turning out to be long. So I’ll save the explanation of the other bullet points for another time.

But I will say this. The reason I’ve resurrected this blog is not to tell you about my hiatus in the way it was originally intended (although I feel obligated to elaborate on some of the highlights). I’ve resurrected it because SO many people ask me for recipes. As noted above, I cook A LOT and I pretty much cook a different recipe every day. I research the recipes ahead of time, only use seasonal ingredients, and usually cook stuff that’s hits the trifecta of Healthy, Easy, and Cheap. So I’ve decided to just post them in my existing blog rather than send emails. Read about it here.

So if you’re interested in having a guinea pig for recipes, check back here or put your email address in the field on the right to get an email whenever I post a new blog entry.

Here’s a nice article by Paul Begoun that highlights some “good bang for your buck” beauty products in 2008.

Article

Several years ago I read Paula book, “Don’t go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me”, and I’ve used several of her suggested and branded products since. I like how she debunks many of the $200 beauty-cream-type products, and is against all the marketing crap the beauty industry throws at us. She has a scientific and economic approach to beauty you don’t see much.

Having worked somewhat closely with one of the world’s largest beauty companies at my previous job, I can tell you that yes, they have some good products, but most of it is marketing and you can find many of the same products at a cheaper price with a little research. I’ve always known this, but didn’t want to do the research myself, so Paula does it for you. (No, I’m not getting paid to write this post!)

Read the next post, Yes, I’m still Alive

Long story short.

No. I did not shell out thousands of my Hiatus dollars for the chance to see up the Material Girl’s flimsy costume material. Instead, I was lucky enough to be born as the daughter of a decadent mother who bought four primo tickets the day they came out, and then decided a European cruise was no competition for the catty pleasure of sighting a wrinkle on Madonna’s well-kempt face. So she sold two of the tickets and gave me the others, knowing that the only person in the world I would dream of taking would be the only person we both knew could truly appreciate it…

There are four things that make him the only person I would dream of taking:

1. Brandon has been my best friend since the 9th grade, and thus a close friend of the family (calls my parents “Mom” and “Dad” etc).
2. He’s as gay as the day is long and we know how much the gay’s love their Madonna!
3. He works in the music industry, currently producing music videos (he’s such a bad ass he’s been nominated for a Grammy and a CMA!)
4. He’s just too FABULOUS not to take to a Madonna concert!

So when Brandon heard the news, he was able to grace me with his presence for 17 hours – to fly into town, go to the concert, hit the dance floor at our favorite gay club, get three hours of sleep on my couch and then hop on a plane for a 10am meeting with a music artist (no, I’m not going to name them).

But it was well worth it.

Now I must preface this by saying that I’m not a huge Madonna fan. I think her music is good, but I mostly admire her for her business savvy and determination. But after going to the concert I have a new reason to admire The Bitch – her body is a awe inspiring. The Bitch (which I now feel the need to call her since I’m crazy jealous of her body) is in her fifties and has zero body fat, sculpted muscles (but not too body builder-like), a teeny tiny waist, glowing skin, and not a wrinkle in sight. She is the ultimate aesthetic example of what determination and science can achieve. Hopefully by the time I’m her age, science will catch up and it won’t take so much determination, cause I can tell you right now – I don’t got it!

So while Brandon was slack jawed at her iconic presence and complicated production details of her show, I just kept staring at her thighs. Yes, I was a waste of such a good ticket, but looking around us, so were many of the people we were sitting with. Before the show, one particularly annoying girl in front of us kept loudly reciting how much she paid for her ticket ($4000). It didn’t take long for Brandon to turn to me in a loud voice and repeatedly say “Oh my god, I hate her.” Instead of Brandon getting into a cat fight with her and her Gucci handbag, I encouraged him to use his super powers by capturing her on film and use it in his next video diatribe about Stupid People. When Brandon asked her to repeat herself for his camera she was more than willing to bat her eyelashes, purse her lips and repeat her mantra in her oh so charming valley-girl accent. After wards, I looked at her and said in a foreboding voice, “You have no idea where that might end up one day.” Eying me wearily, she bouncily turned around and kept to herself the rest of the show. Ahhhhh, life would be so boring without Stupid People.

I took these pictures with my iPhone so the quality isn’t great. But you get the idea.

Instead of checking every five minutes to see if I’ve released any new wisdom onto the world, just enter your email address into the field on the right side of this page and you’ll receive an email telling you when I’ve made a new post.

To all my Nerdy Brethren,

I have added a new page to this blog called – you guessed it – Books.

Since I’m spending a good portion of my Hiatus reading, I thought it would be easier to have an entire page dedicated to the words I so lovingly stuff into my head.

Just click on the “Books” page in the navigation bar at the top of this page. Or, for those slackers who are reading this directly from their email client or RSS feed (and can’t be bothered to actually visit the site) just click here.

Peace Out.

Read the next post, Madonna – 2nd Row!

Hello world! I’m back!

I feel like the ground hog on Ground Hog Day. Peeking my furry little head out to see if I want to join the world again or scurry back into my hole where it’s warm and cozy and devoid of irritating shadows.

I wanted to take a few months of absolutely NO expectations. No waking up at a decent hour, no making sure I had plans to keep me busy, no feeling bad about not writing in my blog, – absolutely nothing! And it was wonderful. Kind of like wiping the slate clean or rebooting my system.

So what did I “do” for the past two months? Read the rest of this entry »